Marriage, in the biblical sense, is no small thing. It’s a sacred covenant, a divine knitting together of two souls into “one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 lays it out plain as day: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This isn’t just about physical intimacy—it’s a spiritual union, a bond sealed before God, meant to mirror His unwavering faithfulness. But what happens when that covenant is shattered by adultery? Does the “one flesh” union survive, or does it die a spiritual death, ceasing to exist as God intended? Let’s dig into this.
The Bible doesn’t mince words about adultery. It’s a betrayal so severe it warranted death in the Old Testament (Leviticus 20:10) and gets called out by Jesus as a heart-level rupture (Matthew 5:27-28). The seventh commandment—”You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14)—stands as a guardrail around the marriage covenant. When that line is crossed, something fundamental breaks. The question is: does that break kill the “one flesh” union entirely?
Jesus gives us a clue in Matthew 19:3-9. When the Pharisees grill Him about divorce, He doubles down on marriage’s permanence: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” But then He drops an exception: “sexual immorality” (often understood as adultery) justifies divorce. Why? Because adultery doesn’t just dent the covenant—it obliterates the trust, exclusivity, and holiness it’s built on. The “one flesh” union, while forged by God, depends on human fidelity to thrive. When a spouse steps outside the marriage bed, they’re not just breaking a rule—they’re torching the spiritual reality of that unity.
Paul takes it further in 1 Corinthians 6:16: “Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’” This isn’t a pretty picture. It’s a stark warning that sexual sin doesn’t just wound the marriage—it creates a twisted counterfeit of the “one flesh” bond, defiling the original. If the covenant’s whole point is exclusive, holy oneness, then adultery doesn’t just crack it—it leaves it a lifeless shell.
Here’s where I land: when sexual adultery happens, the “one flesh” union isn’t just damaged—it’s spiritually dead and, in a real sense, no longer exists as a living covenant. Sure, the historical fact of the marriage remains—you can’t erase the past. But the ongoing, God-breathed vitality of that union? It’s gone. The covenant’s purpose—to reflect divine love and unity—can’t function when its core promise is betrayed. Jesus’ exception for divorce in cases of adultery backs this up: the innocent party isn’t bound to a dead bond (Matthew 5:32). The “one flesh” reality isn’t lingering in some half-alive state; it’s been severed.
Some might argue the bond persists until a formal divorce, pointing to “what God has joined together.” Fair enough—there’s a legal or ontological angle to consider. But spiritually? The covenant’s heartbeat stops when adultery enters. It’s not about whether the union can be resurrected through forgiveness (Hosea’s story shows that’s possible); it’s about what adultery does in the moment it happens. For me, that moment marks the death of the “one flesh” union—not a separation to be mended, but a dissolution of what once was.
What do you think? The Bible holds space for reconciliation, but it also doesn’t sugarcoat adultery’s fallout. If the covenant is broken, can we really say the “one flesh” union still exists in any meaningful way? I’d argue no—it’s a casualty of the breach, a sacred bond that, once dead, releases the betrayed from its hold.
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What if the wandering spouse is remorseful for her actions and the husband forgives and takes her back do they become one again after that through sexual contact❓
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Thank you for your thoughtful question, it’s a tender one that touches the heart of God’s grace in broken places. Adultery is a deep betrayal that, as the blog post explains, spiritually severs the “one-flesh” union (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6), leaving it like a “lifeless shell.” But praise God, that’s not the end of the story when true remorse and forgiveness enter in.
If the unfaithful spouse (in this case, the wife) is genuinely repentant, confessing her sin, turning from it, and seeking restoration, and the husband forgives her fully, as Christ forgives us (Ephesians 4:32), then yes, they can rebuild and renew their covenant. The Bible shows this beautifully in Hosea’s story (Hosea 1-3), where God commands the prophet to take back his adulterous wife, symbolizing God’s redeeming love for unfaithful Israel. Their marriage wasn’t just patched; it was revived as a picture of mercy.
Regarding sexual contact: Intimacy can indeed play a key role in reaffirming and restoring the “one-flesh” bond, as Paul notes that physical union creates oneness (1 Corinthians 6:16). But true renewal starts in the heart, with repentance, forgiveness, and a recommitment to exclusivity and holiness, before flowing into the physical. It’s not automatic; it requires ongoing effort, perhaps with trusted, Christian counsel and prayer, to heal trust.
While sin stains beginnings (like David and Bathsheba’s in 2 Samuel 11-12), God’s grace can redeem and bless when we repent (Romans 8:28; Psalm 51). Your marriage isn’t doomed; it’s an opportunity for God’s resurrection power.
If this is your story, seek wise counsel from a pastor or trusted believers. God is for healing: “What God has joined together” can be mended by His hand. Praying for peace and strength for you both.
PS: Speaking from a voice of reality and experience
As I wrote these reflections on adultery, the one-flesh covenant, and the hope of restoration, I did so not from theory, but from the raw reality of lived pain and grace.
In my first marriage, when my wife confessed an affair, I chose forgiveness. I believed—genuinely—that her remorse was real and her repentance true. We sought to rebuild, leaning on God’s mercy and the biblical hope seen in Hosea. For a season, it seemed possible. But one year later, another affair revealed a deeper pattern. Despite my efforts and prayers, the repeated betrayal led to divorce. The covenant, already spiritually fractured, could not withstand the ongoing breach. That chapter closed in sorrow, but God remained faithful in the ashes.
My current wife, Kristyn, walked a similar valley. Her former husband carried on a string of affairs over at least a decade—years of hidden betrayal that shattered trust and left deep wounds.
We both come to these words not as perfect examples, but as fellow travelers who know the agony of infidelity up close. We’ve tasted the truth that adultery can indeed sever the living “one-flesh” union (as Scripture warns in passages like Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 6:16), yet we’ve also seen God’s grace redeem what seemed irreparable. Our blended family of twelve stands as testimony that He can bring beauty from brokenness—not because the origins were clean, but because repentance, forgiveness, and deliberate steps toward Him make all things new (Romans 8:28; Isaiah 43:19).
We share these truths with humility, because we know how heavy the cross of betrayal feels. If you are walking this road—whether hoping for restoration, grieving an ended marriage, or rebuilding in a new one—know that you are not alone. God’s Word holds both the hard reality of sin’s consequences and the unbreakable promise of His redeeming love.
May you find strength to take your own deliberate steps toward healing and wholeness in Christ. I mention some of these things in my book Deliberate Steps: A Journey of Faith, Leadership, and Revival
Pastor Barron & Kristyn Greenwalt
December 2025
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